hard earned peace of mind

this is has been my week of ridiculous.

monday: being truckless i had to call for rides home from work. just like in high school. ugh. and in the middle of it all managed to get some of my guys together to PUSH start my truck in a starbucks parking lot. three of us hands on and running. the fourth in the drivers seat. "ok stop" then "GO JAIME" it was all really silly. we were still running after the truck zoomed on. but i was so happy it worked. so happy i tackled cordell with a big hug. he said it would work. i secretly didnt belive him.

tuesday: still truckless, beacause it was in the shop, i spent my free time at work tryin to call for a ride home and then for a ride to school. i had an hour and a half between the two. then i got a call from the car shop. IT WAS FIXED and i still had both arms and legs but could i have any less time to go pick it up? my sister showed up... unexpectedly. it all worked out.

wednesday: stayed late at work, avoiding my real life. finally after dark i was on my way home. i grabbed some chinese food and my beloved pepsi and headed home physically and emotionally exhausted. but if i can just get to my couch and lay there everything will be fine. i pulled up to my apartment. reached for my keys... and kept reaching and reaching. $@*% no keys. still no keys. called my sister. she laughed at me but she couldnt get home just yet. "keep looking and call me back" she said. still no keys. so so so i went to the windows. yes, that's right, i broke into my house in the dark and in the cold. and my keys, in my jacket pocket from the night before.

thursday: the day before my day off. finally have my truck back and it is good. ran some errands after work. went to the gym. got to get some pool time in after being MIA for about 2 weeks. with plenty of time for a nap before class, i headed out to my truck from the Y. where is my key? are you kidding me? where are my keys? MOTHER OF PEARL THIS IS RIDICULOUS. where are my F-ING KEYS??? yeah, locked out again. stupid. stupid stupid. called my sister. "YOU CAN JUST WALK HOME I AM NOT COMING TO GET YOU" she really said that. but then she laughed. bringing my tools.. yes i have tools... i broke into my truck. and let me just add that this is not the first time. nor is it the first time this month. hahahahaaaaaaaa. on my way home i stopped to get my sister a coke. went for my wallet... WHERE IN THE HELL IS MY DEBIT CARD? holy mother of zeus. i could have fallen over from incompetence that instant. but then my sister would have to come get me and she was already back home and you know it was just an overall bad idea.

its just now friday. my mental state seems to be one full of gaps. my mind is overloaded. i think i could probably sit at my desk and stare out the window most of the day.

i have earned it. its been a long week. just me and ben folds hangin out like the old days when i had time to hang out and all my free time wasnt scheduled into my planner. and i am still considering getting my PHD directly after MA. i think it might be easier than this.