just like a pillow

so i left. part of the separation between me and him required me leaving a particular social group. so i left.

they have been my comfortable reading chair, my swimming pool, my familiar books. they are my family. but it is time to change things. time to change everything. break habits and comfortable living. time to take the steps. life is the movement between each landing. or so says a certain german philosopher.

i love that image. life is the movement between each step. when you land you are stationary and only existing. but when there is movement there is life. such imagery! such, such, such - life.

i want that life for me. so i left.

they are still my friends. they will still be my family. but our time now will be intential instead of habitual. the problem is the issue of time. time time time. oh time. i dont know what you mean except impending doom. or somedays it means my pillow is near again.

i stopped wearing a watch. i may have become less aware of the measurement of time itself but i feel its weight on my shoulders like fat man standing on his tippy toes using my body for a ladder.

but i will win. it will all get done. it will all be reconciled. life will happen. progress will be made. and i will still find my pillow at some point throughout the night.