too bad for my love life

hahaha... that is what someone just commented to me. it is perfect. too bad for my love life.

i can breathe a sigh of relief somehow with that having been said. i dont know why. the work lovesick comes to mind. i am lovesick. there is a longing in me, but there is no one on the other end. too bad for my love life. hahaha...

i am not upset about it. i want to love. i think we culturally are sometimes afraid to love, afraid of what that will make you if you are rejected or what it will make you if you are not. or at least, in the mostly-single group i run with, that is an issue.

today isnt soley about my love life. really it isnt. i just feel uncertain today. uncertain about everything. WHY? who knows. maybe i need to feel this way at least once every other month so that i can feel pretty good all the other days when i dont care that i dont know what is next.

i dont feel like i have too many options. i have been overloaded by that before. but i have a few different questions i want answered. today i just want answers. but, i just dont know what i want.

hahhaaa... story of my life. i mean i used to think i knew what i wanted. and i have wanted it for so long that now i am like... wait, have my desires changed along the way? have i taken the time to ask my heart what i am passionate about lately, and is it the same as what i am striving for?

this is all so vague, i know.

but the specifics dont matter. you cant give me the answers. its just this inbetween place that i find unusually uncomfortable today. i think tomorrow i will go to the pool and swim. the rhythm of the water usually works out all the kinks in my mind.

too bad for my love life... hahahahahaaa. oh man.

PS. had tea with the guy yesterday. it was fun. it was a beautiful day.